Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 1 July 2010

image for The Name Vuvuzela Has Just Become The Most Popular New Born Baby Name In The Entire World
Although the South African vuvuzela is in fact a member of the turmpet family it is considered a bastard relative.

LIVERPOOL - The Society For The Gathering and Listing of New Born Baby Names has just announced in its July publication titled Sticks & Stones - The Naming of Babies that the South African name Vuvuzela has just surpassed every other name as the number one most popular baby name in the entire world.

Falling down to number 2, from number 1, was the name Muhammad. Going from number 2, to number 3, is the name Chang, and going down from number 3, to number 4, is the name Jimmy.

A spokesperson for The Society For The Gathering and Listing of New Born Baby Names, Heather Hilda Sidefiester, 39, stated that the 2010 FIFA World Cup Games helped to introduce the name Vuvuzela to the world.

A Vuvuzela is a South African musical trumpet which produces an annoying noise that sounds like millions of buzzing African bees.

The countries of England, Scotland, Ireland, and Peru have already passed laws making it illegal to blow vuvuzelas at any sporting event.

Peru has even announced that violators will have their vuvuzelas confiscated. Upon a second violation the vuvuzela blower will be arrested and if the violator is a male, he will have the vuvuzela placed on his pecker and then a volunteer will blown the vuvuzela using all of his might.

If the violator is a female, then the vuvuzela will be placed on one of the offending females tits and a volunteer will blown the vuvuzela with all his might.

Individuals who have seen both vuvuzela exercises reported that they are not pretty sights to watch. In the case of the male, he will be rendered sterile. And in the case of the female, her tits will never ever be able to produce baby milk and they will hang down to just below her belly button.

SIDENOTE: Attorneys for The American Civil Liberties Union are looking into the possibility that these two vuvuzela punishments may be somewhat illegal.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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