Written by anthonyrosania
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Topics: Sex, iPhone, Texting, iphone 4

Wednesday, 30 June 2010

image for iPhone 4 Inhibits Right Handed Users From Sexting. "I used my left hand, and nearly ripped my junk off!"
The moral of the story? Wank with the hand you write with.

Early Adopters of the iPhone 4 were annoyed to find that it doesn't work if you hold it in your left hand because it blocks the antenna. But there's another group that is seriously damaged by this flaw: Right handed people who Sext.

In fact, 21 people have been injured by this flaw, and they plan to sue!

"So, I was sexting with my girlfriend," said Jim Pudd, from his hospital bed in the John Bobbitt Penis Trauma Unit in Los Angeles. "And I realized that I couldn't send texts when I held the phone in my left hand."

"I transferred the iPhone to my right hand, and used my left to... polish my Academy Award. That's when everything went wrong."

Doctors say that Pudd was seriously injured, but will recover. Pudd, however, still plans to sue Apple.

"What can I tell you, I am VERY right handed, "said Pudd. "It was like an alien was tugging my junk, pulling it all sideways and stuff. I couldn't stop, of course, so I just tried harder to control my left hand. Next thing I know, blood and tissue was flying all over."

In response, Apple released the following statement: "We are very sad to hear of Mr. Pudd's injury, but consumers must be aware that the iPhone 4 is meant to be used as a MP3 player, and fashion statement. If we intended this t be used as an actual phone, would we have partnered with AT&T?"

"Let's just hope Mr. Pudd recovers enough to write the check for the $354.00 worth of naked girl iPhone wallpapers he bought from the App Store. Or we'll have his penis cut off... oh, wait. We'll have his legs cut off."


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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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