Ottawa, Ontario - (Reuterus): A predicted July 1st karma-assisted suicide of pointless cold war throwback Queen Elizabeth II is gaining momentum.
Royal Canadian Hellfire Club soothsayers reckon a highly gratuitous Canada Day state visit has been timed to coincide with a National Hemlock Tasting competition.
This will see HM breakfasting on crow and sipping from a traditional Canadian loving cup brew of indigenous herbs.
Gathered at dawn under the eclipsed full moon the toxic infusion has been used for centuries as a cheapskate but reliable method of assassination.
A brief glance at HM's itinerary on Thursday shows she really wouldn't be missed at the 10am Rideau Hall portrait photograph sitting nor at the Canada Day noon show and royal walkabout on Parliament Hill.
Republican factions in the RCHC have long demanded revenge for Princess Diana's untimely 1997 death.
The princess was born on Canada Day in 1961 and died aged 36 in a DUI accident in Paris.
Mohammed Fayed is 69.