Written by Lady Godiva
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Topics: Sex, Space

Tuesday, 29 June 2010

image for Poindexter need not worry about sex aboard the Space Station
Enlarged photograph of new device designed by NASA to detect sexual arousal in individuals and react to it

Poindexter need no longer worry about sex on board the International Space Station. Astronomers believe there will be regular bombardments from comet debris, due later this year, which could strike orbiting spacecraft knocking out electronics.

Those astronauts manning the International Space Station will be too busy avoiding this debris to even think lustful thoughts.

In the event than some manage to over-ride this fear of being hit by flying debris and having all the electronics on board fail, they are being updated with special electronic devices fitted to their sexual organs.

These devices are to be attached to their G-spots and at the first sign of arousal, the astronaut, male or female, will receive an electric shock aimed at distinguishing arousal for up to 8 hours. Eight hours is the length of their 'shift' aboard the space station.

After eight hours, the device will automatically re-set to prepare for another arousal, should one 'arise'.

The devices were invented by NASA for the astronauts, but just as with other investion for astronauts, such as Tang and 'the chocolates that melt in your mouth and not in your hand' - nowadays named M & Ms,this invention will soon be available to the general public.

Nymphomaniacs will be able to get them fitted on prescription from their physicians or psychiatrists.

Sex offenders of ANY type will be forced to be fitted with these devices both inside and outside of prisons.

Priests will be fitted with these devices when they are ordained, as will nuns.

Any member of the general public not belonging in any of the above categories, who wish to have one of these devices fitted for any reason, will have to apply to their local Municipalities and undergo psychiatric evaluation before being considered a 'candidate'.

NASA is working on a number of versions that can be set to various 'time differentials' to facilitate individuals who just want it set for an hour or two when they are, for example, in church, in an important business meeting, sitting an exam, on a long distant flight etc. These devices will be designed so that individuals can alter the time differentials.

This feature will obviously NOT be available to sex offenders or members of the clergy.

NASA does indeed bring us many great, useful inventions as they continue their study of outer space.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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