Written by anthonyrosania
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Tuesday, 22 June 2010

image for Melody Granadillo: "Hey, I dated Joran van del Sloot. Can I have some money?"
It is spelled G-a-r-a-n-d-i-l-l-o.

Melody Granadillo, 23, the ex-girlfriend of celebrity chick killer Joran Vanderbeek, has traded her soul for some sheckels, by making a beeline to ABC's borefest "20/20" to cash in on the deaths of two young girls.

Grandillo used the first 11 of her 15 minutes of fame to speak of details about her romantic involvement with van der Sloot, the Dutch native who was arrested for killing a Peruvian woman, and who traded the location of Natalee Holloway's body for a Diet Pepsi and a hearty handshake.

"I can't believe the man that Jor-El has become," said Grandillo, while in line waiting to cash her check from ABC. "I had no idea he could be this evil."

She continued: "I thought it was wierd when he insisted on massaging my neck with a Ginsu knife."

"He was so romantic, at first. Then, it was little things that he did that made me suspicious. He would lie about where he was, or he would not let me look in his closet, or he would shoot a tourist in the chest and then bury the body. Just little things."

The interview was cut short when Shannon Price, Gary Coleman's ex-wife, showed up at the interview, claiming to have Natalee Halloway's hand-written Will.

In the Will, which is written in crayon and in which "Halloway" is spelled with a "V", two "M"s and the number 7, Halloway gives all of her possessions to Price, a woman she never met.

Price and Granadillo plan to become roommates in Hell.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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