Written by anthonyrosania
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Topics: Animals, Activists

Monday, 21 June 2010

image for Activists Who Are Not PETA Open The Megan Kanka Memorial Animal Hospital
Go ahead, test some hairspray on me.

Astrid Newspock, International Director of the Persons for Exploitative Treatment of Activists (PEToA), has ramped up their exploitation of any one they damned-well please by opening the Megan Kanka Memorial Hospital for Dogs in Philadelphia, Pa.

Megan Kanka was a 7 year old in New Jersey who was brutally raped and murdered by a neighbor. Megan had been lured to the killer's home with the promise of getting a puppy. Kanka's death led to international adoption of anti-pedophile laws that fall under the "Megan's Law" banner.

Naming an animal hospital after Kanka seems like a juxtaposition of ideals, which, for nutbag Newspock, is not new territory.

Said Newspock, after the valium wore off: "Look, why do animal lovers come to me? I contradict myself on a daily basis. People want to know my thoughts; WHY? I drink Ketamine and Gentleman Jack cocktails all day long so I don't know my thoughts."

Regarding her work as the director for animal control in the 1980's: "I've admitted in The New Yorker that I've killed thousands of dogs and cats, myself. I am not against pet murder, I just want it done my way."

Regarding hidden camera expose' videos on their website: "These videos show just how cruel people can be, how others seek to profit from the torture of animals."

After being reminded that her Activist group SELLS documentaries on DVD using hidden camera footage of animal abuse: "Well, I did say I didn't like it when others profit. If I make a buck from it, GREAT! Hell, we've got Google Ads on our website, right under the videos."

The Megan Kanka Animal Hospital opens Friday. A chubby, naked celebrity will be putting "The Crush" on visitors, starting at noon.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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