Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Afghanistan

Monday, 21 June 2010

image for Our Man In Kabulshit Booted Out 'On Obama's Orders'
In one of his spooky MI6 disguises this weekend

London - (Tora Bora): Veteran Foreign Orifice jobsworth Sherard Cowper Coles was booted out on his arse today.

A highly dubious role as Our Man In Kabulshit apparently got up Barack Obama's nose after years of disastrous intelligence howlers.

The last straw came this weekend after worried Oval Office aides admitted to the president they'd found a damning piece of evidence testifying to the diplomat's actual IQ.

The document in question turned out to be Cowper Coles' glowing letter of recommendation praising the 2008 appointment of Tony Hayward as CEO of BP.

Plus there was that 'intriguing Pashto dialect' which the MI6 spook/UK envoy somehow picked up in a Du Pont Circle language laboratory - subsequently identified as a KGB franchise run by an Opus Dei canny linguist codenamed Eeyore, er...Igor!

Security sources in Washington DC have long considered Cowper Coles to be a disinformation tosspot working for Mafia chums of Tony Blair.

US President George Bush Sr was instrumental in having him kicked out of DC during his dismal tenure as UK First Secretary between 1987 and 1991 because of a string of intelligence gaffes about 'renegade Kuwaitis' during the Gulf War.

The ensuing period spent in London learning about bombproofing embassy properties did little to enhance rumors about his Provisional IRA sympathies.

"How he managed to blag his way into a KCMG is totally beyond me," Garter Dame Grand Cross Daphne Hollyhock commented today.

Alan Sugar is a wiry old rascal.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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