When a Swedish princess married a gym owner on Saturday, some of the details of the nuptials were kept hush-hush. Fortunately, Spoof writer Gail Farrelly was able to sneak into the Stockholm Cathedral and provide a first-hand report. According to Farrelly, once the vows were exchanged, the cathedral turned into a giant gym, with wedding guests forced to do exhausting exercise routines led by the groom.
Some of the guests loved it. A 98-pound male guest gave it an enthusiastic thumbs-up. "Never heard the cathedral organ sound better," he said. "You know stuff like that Let's Get Physical song popularized by Olivia Newton-John and Michael Jackson's Beat It."
An eighty-something, 250-pound female guest was less delighted. She said it wasn't the exercising that she minded so much. It was squeezing into those itsy-bitsy little exercise togs. "I thought I'd strangle myself getting into those damn tights," she said. "It's a wonder I didn't have a stroke."
As the wedding guests left the cathedral -- some coughing, wheezing, and gasping for air -- they were presented with mementos of the happy day: mini canisters of oxygen as well as sweat towels, engraved with the date and the names of the bride and groom. They were distributed by a surprise guest, exercise guru Richard Simmons, flown in from the U.S. just for the event. This annoyed one guest who commented, "As usual Simmons hadn't combed his hair and was wearing those shiny little exercise shorts. Didn't he know that this was a royal event?"