England - Tony Hayward's boat Bob was leading a yacht race on Saturday when several gigantic tentacles emerged and surrounded his vessel from underneath. The boat was crushed and disappeared from the surface.
"It was just horrible," said Sir Elton John, There to watch the race as Tony Hayward's guest, "These huge long hard tentacles rose ecstatically out of the water and plunged into Bob from the rear, then the sides and front too..ooooh!"
The British Navy reports scanning the depths at that time with its 3D imaging radar and reported seeing the Flying Dutchman, where it appeared that Davy Jones himself had Tony Hayward held by the throat at arm's length, "Arrrr, so ye thinks what's happened in the Gulf of Mexico is so trivial ye kin just float around. Don'tcha realize you is the lamest creature most humans tast evers seen before?! Avast ye tadpole, ye is not worthy of being a salamander in somebody's atrium, ye is just the most loathsome flotsum and jetsum I ast evers seen in all my days! I can not stand to see you anymore surface and makes him walks the plank lads!! feed his worthless carcus to the sharks."
Loud cheers erupted from the deck of the Flying Dutchman as it headed toward the surface. The Royal Navy was called by BP officials to intervene, but Prince Charles apparently was present and said, "Absolutely not! This is between and imaginary character and a little bastard, I'll not have our Navy involved in something so embarrassing."
So there you have it, Tony Hayward forced to walk the plank today. His boat and crew eaten by a large octopus type. creature and Hayward himself is now shark bait. Now perhaps we can concentrate on the oil spill and the disastrous circumstances in our world that allowed it to happen.