Written by Jean Le Fete
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Topics: Oil, bp, Dr. Seuss

Saturday, 19 June 2010

image for BP Exec Has a Dr. Seuss Day in Congress
Haywart's fears realized in D.C.!

Washington D.C. somewhere between Whoville and maybe a leper colony.

The following news story was pre-recorded in front of a group of 4 year olds and found to be of suitable news content to be submitted to the Spoof.

The whole world was watching and the sun was not sunning, for Mr. Haywart, the world was not funning. Twas sad wee tee hee for Bee Bee Pee Pee to Deal with the awful mean men in Dee Cee.

"Were not happy" they said, "with this new oil bed. You've made it so black in our sandy beach heads. We'll never forgive you, you naaaasty little man. Now gooooo clean it up with a spoon in your mmmmmmmouth!!"

"But...Butt! That doesn't rhyme! Complained Haywart instead. I don't see the point if Bee Pee is dead. Please give us a chaance, we've hundreds of wellls, why Atlantis they saay could spill thrice as well."

"Exactly our point!" Cried foul senator man, "Why were so exasped, were willing to plan! Wee might even consider taking our heads out of the sand! You've opened our eyes, though our heads in the ass. You've reinvigorated our sense of national grasp! Against you we can unite and on your well heads we'll stand, we'll drive electric cars to the popsicle stands!"

"Noooooo!" cried Haywart, though nightmarish it seemed, "Tim Burton does Seuss here, this is not fair to make one scream! Oil is still king and it must stay this way. Why I've 500 Billion that I've yet to stash away! I beg you to cancel this protest of yours, get back in your Ottos and floor it to the.....floor!!!"

But Haywarts complaints fouled on marshlands of new clout, new drilling rules and delays might instead still win out. Obama man hath come to ride upon his steed and hang monsier Haywart on his legaceecee...cee..."awww bugger it!" cried Haywart, "I'll never give in! The Grinch is my hero...that is if he never gave in."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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