Written by Mike Monpas
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Topics: Afghanistan

Thursday, 17 June 2010

image for Arabic Numerals Re-Discovered in Afghanistan-Peace Breaks Out

Many Centuries ago, Muslim invaders of Europe brought their Arabic numerals with them, unintentionally setting off Western scientific breakthroughs which have continued to the present day.

"It was rather difficult to do long division or even simple algebra with Roman numerals," says professor John Kingston of Oxford University. "The Arabic numerals brought forth by the Muslims set the wheels of scientific progress in motion. Unfortunately for the Islamic world, it seems that when the invaders eventually left Europe, they forgot to take their Arabic numerals with them, not realizing that they didn't have back-up copies on file back in their Pyramids, or deserts or sand dunes or whatever."

Yesterday in a brilliant stroke of luck, Ahmed Akbar, who was about to chop off his wife's head for allowing her veil to slip slightly, accidentally missed her neck with his sword and ended up smashing it into an ancient treasure chest buried in the sand just outside of Kandahar. The chest contained every Arabic numeral known to Humans.

"I was very angry," said Ahmed, "then I became fascinated by the box. I had to open it up."

The accidental discovery has produced amazing results. The people of Afghanistan are now building modern dams, full suspension bridges, rail roads, airports, and modern cities supplied with water and electrical power. Peace has broken out, and the Taliban are now part of Ancient History.

"I am happy now," said Ahmed, "but sometimes I still want to put my wife back in her Burqa, then I realize that it is just not logical, at least not in the one hundred plus degree heat we have here in Afghanistan."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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