World Cup officials on hand at the USA / England World Cup match were stunned to pearn that nearly 500,000 American TVs were tuned in. This number equals the total amount of Americans that heretofre had ever watched a soccer match on TV.
Revelers at a suburban Chicago bar were especially celebratory when England blew a victory via a bonehead play by England's goalie.
"Oh, it is a lot of fun to watch," said one patron, who referred to the sport as Field Hocket Without Sticks. "I mean, what the hell am I going to watch, the Tigers?"