Written by Lance.D.Boyle
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Sunday, 13 June 2010

3200 KMS West of the Australian Coastline
Eye witnesses on an Australian QANTAS aircraft sent to locate missing world circumnavigation sailor ABBY SUNDERLAND claim to have seen several Israeli Blackhawk helicopters circling Abby Sunderland's yacht WILD EYES moments before it was dis-masted and wrecked in the Southern Ocean.
Abby herself is claiming one minute she was sailing along, not a problem in the world then WHAMMMO she heard what she thought were helicopter sounds,machine gun fire and an explosion then the mast was no longer there!
The 16 y.o was rescued by a French Fishing/spy vessel that happened to be tracking the blackhawks.
Capt Croissant Of the fishing/spy vessel,'ZE Garlik Prawn' said in a radio interview "Oui we waz tracking zee Israeli helios ant zen zuddenlie ze paratroopers fell from ze helios onto ze deck and began shooting ant stabbing ze mast, zen zey blew it off! May oui eet wuz crazy stuff"!
On deck of ZE Garlik Prawn a teary eyed Abby Sunderland sat, "They wrecked me coming first!!!!I wanna be first! I wanna be first!" she looked skyward and screamed'"I AM A GODDAM AMERICAN WHERE ARE THE MARINES?"
Captain Croissant responded with "It eeez cold and wet my leettle zailor girl,perhaps zey didn't have any warm clothes for theez weather. Would you like to zee my etchings in ze capitains cabin? A leettle wine ant zum cheez?"
The Americans are said to be furious, and are reported to have demanded that Abby be thrown back over so the U.S.Navy Seals could rescue her, while using helmet cam and night goggles and laser sights.
Officials in the US Congress are asking why it had to be the French of all people to have saved her?
Israel has admitted that "Israeli Defence Forces thought Abby's sailboat was sneaking up on Israel from behind and they acted in self defence. They are having an investigation and NO no-one is invited except them to it and all revelations will be kept top secret so just piss off!"
Hollywood is offering Abbey ten billion bucks if she will jump off ZE Garlik Prawn and allow the US Navy Seals to re-rescue her,insiders are saying it would make for a much more saleable movie.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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