Written by Morse
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Saturday, 12 June 2010

image for USA Bangs Out Moral Victory as UK Short Stop Boots Ball at World Cup!
UK Keeper Robert Greene Dazed and Confused After He Fumbles Ball Leading to USA Moral Victory!

In a scene reminiscent of Boston Red Sox Bill Bruckner letting the world series get away from him with a ground ball through his aging legs, USA fans were hysterical with glee as they won a moral victory in a 1-1 tie with their mates across the pond today on an unforced error.

Shortly before the 7th inning stretch, with the Colonists down 1-0 due to a goal from Steven Gerrad, a hard smash into the hole by 'gamer' Clint Dempsey squirted out of the glove of short stop/keeper Robert Greene as fleet footed baserunner Maury Wills, Jr., slid home with the tying, and psychologically winning run!

During the remaining minutes of the game, USA goal keeper and TEAM SPARKPLUG, Tim Howard sacrificed his body time after time, refusing to let any balls past his athletic frame. Howard would not be denied!

Highlight of Howard's performance was a screaming shot sent his way by Wayne Rooney that had UK fans pissing in the aisles as it rocketed toward the goal, with only the shaved headed Howard blocking the way.

Folding his Red Shirted body into an impact reducing shield, the gutsy goalie with the Brazilian Waxed Noggin, enveloped his bruised body about the hard kidney shot, collapsed to the ground in triumphant agony, and with that save you could see the adrenaline pour out of the vanquished UK team, leaving them dazed and confused as the Cousins erupted in the stands.

With over 2 minutes remaining in the match, Martin Shuttlecock, Skoob News International Soccer Stringer, was said to have left the building to get a start on what Erin Andrews said was destined to be "a hard days night!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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