Written by Noddy Bigears
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Topics: Iran, Christian

Friday, 11 March 2005

image for Europe Backs Bush For Nobel Peace Prize As Iran Accepts US Incentives To Stop Nuke Project
George Bush, An Angel Of Peace, Wins Nobel Peace Prize

Born again Christian President Bush has accepted gratefully the European Parliament Nomination for the Nobel Peace Prize. The European backing for the nomination in combination with 35,423 personally hand written letters from the Abu Ghraib Peace Prison in Iraq is more than enough to guarantee President George Bush with the most prestigious Nobel prize that includes a nice financial handshake. A Spokesman from the Swedish Nobel Foundation, Elks Norskisoenn commented "This is an unprecedented level of support for an individual nomination, normally we would expect several nomination rounds and respective voting ballets."

It was President Bush who decided to get up and get going in order to resolve the Iranian Nuclear Crisis which threatened to bankrupt and destroy Iran. The White House spokesman, Bobby Bullshitikagain gleamed with pride as he announced at the special press conference "Our President, George Bush heard about the Iranian Nuclear Crisis and he knew that he just had to do something to help those people out." He went on "George Bush knows how difficult it can be to coordinate and finance very major national projects such as the US elections and even then the outcome can be uncertain or even only a 50-50 success!" Pausing to sip a glass of water and surreptitiously wipe away a tear, the spokesman continued with obvious emotional strain "So George set up a strategic committee to deal with the crisis and he drove them hard until the experts could find a solution. However, it was the Presidents own genius that finally had a lot of spunk and courage! He proposed a brilliant win-win situation and it is so simple." The journalists in the audience strained forward in anticipation to hear how Georges' genius had solved this international crisis. Bobby Bullshitikagain coughed "Our President Bush has personally set up the financial backing through the Halliburton corporation so that Iran can purchase the Nuclear capability from Pakistan and North Korea at discounted rates and the 0% interest on the financial deal means the Power To The Iranian Peoples Project is guaranteed to succeed and they will be saved from having to use the much more expensive US Military Capability experts to set up camp in Iran and install their nuclear capability themselves!"

The international journalists in the audience spontaneously jumped to their feet and cheered wildly

We Speak With One Voice!!! We Speak With One Voice!!! We Speak With One Voice!!!
"George Bush The Peace Maker!!! George Bush The Peace Maker!!! George Bush The Peace Maker!!!"
We Speak With One Voice!!! We Speak With One Voice!!! We Speak With One Voice!!!
"George Bush The Peace Maker!!! George Bush The Peace Maker!!! George Bush The Peace Maker!!!"
We Speak With One Voice!!! We Speak With One Voice!!! We Speak With One Voice!!!


The live television transmission of this very emotional scene strongly moved people all over the world and words alone could not describe their intense emotions and physical reactions.

Meanwhile in Sweden, the Nobel Prize Foundation announced that the renowned pacifist, politician and Oscar winning film maker Arnold Schwarzenegger from California has terminated all other appointments so that he will be able to present the Nobel Peace Prize to President George Bush at the ceremony later this year to be held specially in Iran, it is expected that European leaders will stay away from this event as a sign of respect for the modesty, humility and Christian behaviour of President Bush.


In unrelated news, Dr Abdul Qadeer Khan Centrifuges Ltd in Pakistan has shown a dramatic stock market price rise this morning, rumors suggest that US based Halliburton has been aggressively acquiring a significant share holding. However, the Information & Technology spokesman for the company, Minister Sheikh Rashid Ahmed said is was rare that admission of stock sales or purchases could be confirmed at the extraordinary company meeting. Ordinary shareholders walked out of the conference hall in disgust that there had been leaked inside information. One shareholder, Qazi Hussain Ahmad, the leader of the smaller investors group, said Ahmed's remarks were "highly irresponsible." However, Chaudhry Aitzaz Ahsan, from the Pakistan & People's Party, a moderate investors group, also criticized the Minister Sheikh Rashid Ahmed but praised Sales and Marketing President, Dr. Khan (PhD thesis 'Home Made Atomic Bombs', Berkeley, University of California, USA) for helping this Pakistan company to achieve record export sales this year. The Spoof reporter tried to interview Dr Abdul (Finance Director), Dr Qadeer (Technical Director) and Dr Khan but none were available as they have been working from home since December 2003.

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