CAPE TOWN, South Africa - The FIFA Executive Committee has just been informed that the team from Ethiopia will not be competing in the World Cup finals.
The Ethiopian coach Naboombali Yakachumpa told reporters covering the Ethiopian team that due to a rash of recent injuries due to lion bites his team is down to nine players.
Yakachumpa said that several of the players have expressed to him the desire to play because they do not want to let their fellow countrymen down.
But the coach said that he cannot allow his injured soccer players to play, especially Fifio Mustinga and Binbino Bruskuki, both of whose heads are completely encased in casts.
Coach Yakachumpa says that he knows his team will have to forfeit the 10,000 Chachapitti entry fee ($190 U.S.) but that cannot be helped.
The coach was asked if he has any suggestions as to what can be done about the horrible lion bite epidemic. He responded by saying, "Yes, I do have a suggestion. And my suggestion is that we stop building these fookin soccer fields smack dab in the middle of lion breeding grounds."
He went on to say that there is nothing meaner than a fookin horny male lion who feels he is being kept from doing the 'hokey pokey' with a female lion in heat, especially if she is very pretty.
In other news. Harrison Ford will soon start filming on his next Indiana Jones film entitled, 'Indiana Jones - The Search For The Product Placement Dollar.'