BP has proudly announced that it has struck a deal with the Turkish Kebab Makers Guild that will solve the oil crisis in the Gulf.
Tony Hayward of BP said that intense negotiations had taken place over the previous week, which ha resulted in a win win situation.
BP has agreed to sell the Turks as much oil as they want at a token fee of 1p per drum, as long as they collect within seven days.
The Turks have commented that the samples of oil provided has proved to be refined to a much higher level than what they normally use in their kebab meat. There is also the advantage that it is laden with salt, which will further enhance the taste of the meat. BP has confirmed that it is not charging any additional for the salt.
There has been unconfirmed reports that Turkish and Mexican male looters have been wading into the waters to steal the oil; an observer (who wished to remain anonymous) said that they were using it as hair oil. A spokesman for maritime security forces said that he thought there was little substance in these rumours, and that Turks and Hispanics always have greasy hair.
The Turkish Government has requested that they be allowed to send in their Navy patrol boats to guard their new investment.