Miami, Florida. In what are expected to be important talks crucial to solving the crisis in the Gulf of Mexico, Duchess Sarah Ferguson, Islamist leader Osama Bin laden, Peewee Herman, Tiger Woods and Sir David Attenborough will sit down and thrash out their differences over how to repair the leaking pipe 1.5 kilometers below the surface of the gulf.
People expect Peewee Herman to adopt his usual manic persona to largely intimidate and provoke his rival celebrities.
Tiger Woods will probably swear a lot and may be even pass wind while Fergie will sit impassively, swigging a bottle of gin.
David Attenborough will no doubt postulate and energise the conversation with all matter of contemporary thought, not to mention provide the latest news on saving the planet while the enigmatic Bin Laden, appearing for the first time in public for seven years, will no doubt have his 10cents worth.
Duchess Fergie has said she alone is looking forward to the talks as it will provide her with ample opportunity to drink and then drink some more.
We await the progress of these talks.