American president Barack Obama has caused controversy by declaring war on Australia.
At a heated press conference at the White House Obama told reporters: "What did Australia ever do for us? Sure they may have invented the didgeridoo, the kangaroo and those stick things that come back when you throw them, but it's not much of a country is it? Nobody even knows what its capital city is. Everyone always think it's Sydney. Sure they've given us some good people like Crocodile Dundee, but I never thought much of the guy, and as far as I'm concerned they can darned well take him back."
Obama had originally intended to attack the tiny pacific nation of Fiji but was unable to find it on the map.
Obama intends to officially open hostilities with a tactical nuclear strike against Gibson Cattle Farm, 150 miles north of Alice Springs, sometime later this week.