TEL-AVIV ISRAEL - A controversial report has been released by the IDF(Israeli Defense Forces) today, revealing that the drinking water of both the government and Armed forces of Israel have been heavily dosed with LSD.
U.S. sources have double checked the quality of the drinking water and confirmed that large amounts of LSD have been traced.
Pentagon spokesman Gen.Smithan Wesson believes that it was some nasty trick by hippies who in the late 60's traveled to Israel to live in Kibbutz's and are out for revenge on Israel.
Credible witnesses also are now coming forward and telling of Israeli helicopters hovering over and Israeli Special forces seen rappelling onto the deck of the BP Oil rig off the coast of Louisiana just before it exploded and sank.
IDF spokesperson Leveyes Trauss Commented "Like man that thing was heading our way and was going to attack,so we blew the sucker up in self defense"
This afternoon in Samoa reports and footage are coming in of Israeli helicopter gunships hovering over a small uninhabited atoll near the main Island,footage shows IDF Special Forces rappelling down and attacking clumps of palm trees,so far two soldiers have been injured by falling coconuts,once again IDF spokesman Leveyes Trauss claims that vicious sand crabs and palm trees attacked and his guys retaliated in self defense.
Gen.Smithan Wessonhad nothing more to add but merely shook his head and mumbled "they gotta be trippin!"
At this very moment Israeli gunships are firing rockets and thousands of rounds into a volcano in Iceland, again Leveyes Trauss Claims "The volcano may attack Israel and if the wind blows the other way, it may clear the smoke and right now we seem to have run out of smokescreens".