Written by Mark Percival
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Topics: Oil, Oil Spill, bp

Wednesday, 2 June 2010

image for BP's latest attempt to stop oil flow fails
McDonalds may hold the cure to capping oil spill!

BP's latest attempt to stop the oil flow from the ruptured pipe has failed. The company is attempting to contain the spill from the well by cutting off the fractured pipe and sealing it with a cap.

During the cutting process the saw has got stuck in the thick wall of a pipe on the seabed. BP's press secretary, Iva Nevabenesobusy, stated that they are consulting technicians from the company who supplied the saw, as it is still under warranty.

A spokeman from Dremel defended their product, saying that of all the Dremel Hobbysaws sold at Walmart - they had only ever had two back under warranty. He also commented that the product was not designed to be used underwater. On a positive note, he said that if BP were to return it within 7 days, enclosing a copy of the bill - they would consider their claim.

BP have confirmed that they are considering other options to stem the flow, one such idea involves $200 worth of McDonald's Milkshake; BP engineers are in conference with McDonalds Technicians as to which flavour would offer the best chance of success.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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