Written by Morse
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Tuesday, 1 June 2010

image for Sarah on Oprah: Suck My Toes and You Can Meet Andy!
Fergie's Popsicle Toes as Exposed on Oprah Before Black Out!

In the shortest interview on record, TV Diva Oprah had to cut short a long awaited sit down with the Duchess of York, who admitted she was 'inebriated' after only one Mimosa in her dressing room prior to appearing before millions on US TV.

A slightly tottering Duchess collapsed into the plush recliner on the set yesterday, obviously appearing nervous, gobsmacked, and quite obviously drunk.

During the brief attempt at explaining her recent actions where she shopped her ex-husband, Prince Andrew, for a $40,000 down payment, and a $750,000 annuity, she claimed it was all a mistake due to her overindulgence in 'several' champaign cocktails she had gulped to combat her nervousness before meeting the alleged 'businessman' who wanted to meet Andrew to discuss some "global warming scheme or another."

"I really didn't know what I was saying. It was just one of those down moments I've been having whilst trying to live on $22,000 a year and having an $800,000 requirement trying to keep up appearances and bring up me kids as royalty....!"

Sarah then shocked Oprah by kicking off her open toed Jimmy Choo sandals, and while the cameras zoomed in, proffered them to Oprah. "Aren't they just the prettiest things," she cooed, " I just bet you'd like to suck on them for awhile, just so you could meet Andy!"

From off stage a furious Gayle King, Oprah's 'close personal assistant' charged at the almost comotose Duchess screaming "hey, Bitch, you keep those stinky feet away from my woman or you be found 'toes up' in the alley....!"

It was at that moment that the screen went black and there was an unintended commercial break for a feminine hygiene spray.

When the show continued Oprah pretended that Sarah had never been there, and discussed instead recent highlights from "Larry King Live" who was scheduled to interview Fergie much later that evening. Hopefully, if she recovered.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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