Written by Wayne Goodken
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Monday, 31 May 2010

image for Multiple Deaths Mar College Graduation
Class president finds booger in eyebrow

The entire graduation student population was nearly lost when fifty-three were killed and six injured during the commencement ceremonies at an over-seas junior college. The graduation class had just finished the ritual of throwing up their caps, when 59 of the 62 student graduates in the class, detonated their vests.

The spokesman for the degree program, International Development In Ordinance Technology (IDIOT) stated that all 62 had just received their diplomas in suicide bombing when the tragedy occurred. Officials believe that this was the class project.

Of the 6 injured, 4 are in critical condition and are not expected to survive the night. The other 3, whose vest were not denoted, have had their diploma's revoked and have been removed from campus activities.

In addition, a tenured professor has been relieved from his classroom, with pay, pending investigation about the shoddy education received at the prestigious school. A parent of one the dead, stated, "We pay all this money. One would hope that there would have been at least some additional injuries, if not some deaths, in the auditorium, but nooooo."

The first response from the school, was that they would put their bombers up against any other in the country. They claimed that when the other 2 die, their statistics will be right in line with other state schools.

It does not appear any individuals charged with crimes.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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