After failing to plug their hole in the Gulf of Mexico for the second time, BP, are now turning to plan C.
Capping the hole with concrete and mud and a portable WC didn't seem to do the job so now the dastardly "Trouble Shooting Team" of environmental killers have devised a plan which, will stop the flow! (hopefully)
The plan was devised by BP super-nerd, Maximillion Greasee-Oilslick, and has been tested on other massive holes, Icelandic volcanoes for example.(?????)
The plan is to stick a massive Red-Indian totem pole from an indigenous Mexican tribe called, the "Pop-oil-locas" (real name Pop-ol-ocas as in 'ol' = hole, mucha Loca, Si!) down the hole, get the Indians to do an "Oily Rain Dance" and pray!
BP are now convinced they have the solution and mega-Trouble Shooter, Redneck Dude-Slimeball the 1st, gave the following press statement:
"my team and me are ready, the Indibums are dancing and we're gonna shut that fucking great hole down, muvva fuckers, Yahoo!"
In the interim Florida, Texas and Louisiana are preparing to sue BP for all they're worth, $billions, and BP were last seen packing their oil rigs and running for the Falklands whilst flying the British flag at half-mast!