The Merritt Parkway was snarled for hours yesterday after a Secret Service vehicle containing Bill Clinton and an unnamed intern was rammed from behind causing the former president undisclosed injuries.
Billy Bob was on his way to yet another easy pay day at Yale where he was to address the student body on the need for 'character, high values, loyalty, fidelity, and a proficiency in basic financial accounting."
Clinton, who has banked millions from questionable speaking engagements and dubious deals, most from the middle east, is treated like a rock star in Dubai and parts of the former Soviet Union where he has been behind the scenes in several multi billion dollar complicated oil deals.
Immediately after the minor fender bender, Secret Service Agents draped the vehicle in a dark shroud for over 20 minutes before Clinton emerged looking slightly disheveled and puffing on a rather large Cohiba cigar, a recent gift from the Castro Brothers to Clinton's library.
The President looked slightly pale, dazed and confused as he straightened his tie and checked his fly before telling a local reporter, "Everything's fine...just a minor interruption...and maybe a little whip lash to my neck....ehhmm...Clinton then bent over, clutched his groin area, and collapsed into a damp puddle in the break down lane where EMT personnel were seen peeling back his pants and applying a compress.
A NY TV Weather Channel helicopter was able to capture a picture through the moon roof of what appeared to be a female occupant crouched on the floor of the limo holding a piece of something between her lips while being attended to by emergency personnel.
A former White House reporter said this wasn't the first time something like this had happened. "Bill was rammed from behind once by Barney Frank as they were rushing to approve modified home financing rules....but the President recovered quickly and brushed it off as an 'accident.'
A spokesman for Beth Israel Hospital said that Clinton was doing well, and was in the midst of a lengthy operation to reattach a minor body part but was expected to recover.
Hillary, in China handling out Teddy Bears, was heard to tell an aide, "Finally, I hope this little operation will result in a change I can believe in...BASTARD!"