Soul, South Korea - North Korea was sent reeling today under a new unprecedented threat by the United States and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. In a press conference Clinton removed one of her mauve high heel pumps and banged it on the podium while shouting, "We will bury your taste buds!"
Clinton was referring to new sanctions that would allow for an invasion force to enter North Korea and build over 150 McDonald's restaurants around the country. The pre-fab restaurants would take only days to erect, but would ruin the malnutrition and starvation Kim Jong Il relies on to stay in power.
Chung Dung Ill, the second in command behind Kim said, "This will bring obesity and ruin our culture and traditional foods. We appeal to the United Nations for assistance in this horrible crime about to be committed...and failing that, we unconditionally agree to nuclear inspections and will bend over."
China, which has many McDonald's in their tourist areas called for "calm and reason" saying the United States measures were too drastic and inhumane.