New York, NY-- Exciting new research proves tin hats actually do scare away alien invaders. Four out of five gray aliens say they avoid people wearing tin hats. The hats are also good for blocking radio signals from the New World Order, and they are also great for fighting Global Warming.
Research finds the best tin hats are actually made from aluminum. They should hug the skull and special care should be taken to make sure the tin hat covers the frontal lobes. Radio transmissions from the New World Order cannot penetrate aluminium.
Tin hat aficionados recommend that at least five spikes should protrude away from the hat. The spikes seem to scare the little gray aliens the most. Perhaps, the aliens are afraid the spikes will poke their gigantic eyes.
Global Warming enthusiasts are also sporting tin hats these days. The metallic hats reflect sunlight, and help to cool the Earth.
Be sure to wear your tin hat today. The hat shows you are willing to scare away aliens, fight the New World Order, and also stop Global Warming at the same time!