Ash from the injured Eyjafjallajoekull volcano in Iceland will no longer be a threat to air traffic after next week, as experts prepare to 'cap' the troublesome beast, and to silence it for evermore.
The volcano has been spewing putrid black ash and other debris into the atmosphere for over two months now, and people are just about fed up of it, especially those in the UK who can't get to Lloret and Benidorm for their holidays.
Now, Icelandic volcano-capping experts have come up with the daring plan to place an enormous titanium dome over the mouth of the volcano, which will be able to withstand any future eruptions.
One of the experts, Stig Bjork-fan, told this reporter:
"We have had just about enough of this bloody volcano, and we're jolly well going to put a stop to its little game. A lid will be secured, and the damned thing will have to simmer underneath."
Virgin head, Richard Branson, who came up with the cunning plan, said:
"I went up and had a look myself, and we feel this idea might work. It works for me, anyway."
The Icelandic authorities have taken the unprecedented precaution of evacuating everyone within a 200-mile radius, just in case the volcano flips its lid.