Written by Mike Monpas

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Monday, 17 May 2010

image for Al Qaeda Developes Eco-Friendly Car Bomb

In an effort to win over the hearts and minds of potential Infidel sympathizers, Al-Qaeda has begun the process of developing a new environmentally sensitive car bomb. Spokes-Terrorist Ali Ahmed Akbar, recently unveiled the new design at a car show held in an undisclosed location deep within Pakistan's Tribal Regions.

"This may appear to be an ordinary Toyota Prius, but it is much more than that. Not only does this beauty get sixty miles per gallon, its naturally faulty braking system fits right in with our suicide bomber training syllabus. In the past we have had to have our students learn not to use the brakes, but now, with these brakes, it doesn't matter if a recruit has a tendency to use them or not, he will continue straight to the target at full speed."

When asked about the odd juxtaposition of environmental concern and terrorism, Akbar was steadfast in his resolve to defend Al-Qaeda's pro-Green position. "Every one sees that Iran is developing Nuclear Weapons, and this is an unfortunate disgrace brought on by our otherwise honorable Islamic Brothers. Actions such as these only scare the world community, and end up taking our cause nowhere. We are not like this. Here at Al-Qaeda, we care as much about the environment as anyone else in the world. We were green long before anyone else was even thinking about going that way. If our Iranian Brothers decide to go nuclear, who is going to end up cleaning up the environmental nightmare that is left behind? That's right, it will fall on our children."

The explosive payload packed inside the modified Prius is also a new eco-friendly feature not seen on many of the older, less environmentally sensitive car bombs of the past. "We are very proud of this payload, very proud indeed."

Akbar smiled as he opened the trunk, revealing what seemed to be a giant glob of fecal matter with wires running from it. "You will notice that we have only used purely organic compounds, and just a slight bit of TNT to build this bomb, and the TNT itself is Certified Organic by the Taliban Environmental Protection Agency."

At the moment the Hybrid Car Bomb is still in its prototype stage, however, Akbar hopes to have many of the new devices up and running by the end of this Summer.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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