Written by Knowles
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Sunday, 16 May 2010

Magazine Ralph has controversially called food handling tough - but popular - Australian food critic at the top of its annual 100 "Wankers" list, Master Chef judge Matt Preston was ejaculated for being "pompous" - though you could add every curse known to man for this rounded (overweight), kitchen fairy.

Strewth, would you eat what he cooked knowing he's just been awarded Australia's best Wanker? Let's hope he washes his hands after!

Jesus, this way this Television Chef talks about food is like sex with all of Tiger Woods partners, (all at once), the guy needs to chill out and eat some cheese on toast once in a while.

The Editor of the Magazine Ralph agrees with his status update - he's everywhere, is there anything he's not selling at the moment, he's got Cd's, cookbooks, well if he's Wanking, he's playing it safe, so you'd have to say no Sexually Transmitted Diseases.

Teenage Canadian pop sensation Justin Bieber pulled off sticky Wanker number three and Prime Minister Kevin Rudd is one drop higher than his rival, opposition leader Tony Abbott, who is at seven.

Singer Brian McFadden asked to be put in the list at number 10.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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