In an attempt to shore up the Greek economy, get things back on track, undertake blue-sky thinking and use shed-loads of other meaningless clichés invented by overpaid and underworked consultants, Greek finance minister, Ack Ropolis, has acted swiftly on various new initiatives.
The minister has completely banned the use of the joke "How much does a Greek urn" on the grounds of extremely bad taste. He is also insisting, in an effort to stimulate the economy, that plates must be smashed after each meal, even if it is just a cuppa at 11 in the morning.
Also, in helping to revive the Greek food sector, singer Demis Roussos has been instructed to eat larger meals, and feta cheese will now only be available in 5kg packets.
Nana Mouskouri has been made illegal.