Written by joespr
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Topics: Iraq, Iran

Wednesday, 16 February 2005

Washington, DC-- Everybody is a target of North Korea's nuclear weapons program. But the U.S. is threatening war with Iran because, in the words of Donald Rumsfeld, "there are better targets in Iraq[Iran]".

"Get over it," Rumsfled said. "You fight the war with what you have not with what you want." And we have Iran in our crosshairs. North Korea is too strange, too weird. Anyway, they don't have Oil.

"No, we are not wimps, and we wont let Iran get away with having opinions of their own. They didn't vote for us, so we'll show them. No, we are not wimps, and we won't let George and Dick slack off in getting corporate campaign bribes-- uh, I mean, contributions."

"It's a horrible world. We need to take action. We are under attack on all fronts. No true Republican patriot can stand idly by in a world while forests and oceans are unpolluted; where citizens who have been injured by products made by multi-national corporations are allowed to sue those who injured them; where middle and lower class workers pay less in taxes than millionaires; where citizens are not routinely harassed and humiliated by airport security personnel."

You see, it is very clear to us in Washington. Without war, without constant war, without the distractions of war, we would be forced to be accountable for our actions and take responsibility for the destruction we have done to the American Way of Life. The beauty of war is--and let me tell you, war is absolutely beautiful for a Secretary of Defense--that while it is going on, we can manipulate the common people into standing up for and defending not only America, but the policies of whoever is in power.

"So what if a few thousand American kids die, and if tens of thousands of Iraqis and Iranis die? At least we'll keep on getting elected, Halliburton will continue to get more and more contracts. Isn't that what America is all about?"

"And another thing. The last time I looked, Iran has religious leaders running the country, who are in a position to set the agenda for education in their country. Not like here. Here in America, we let right wing zealots direct what can be taught in science. Isn't America great?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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