The U.S military has begun an urgent high level inquiry into the events of today. No car bombs were reported from Afghanistan, Iraq, Pakistan, India, Spain, or anywhere else in the world. In addition to these worrying developments, North Korean President Kim Jong-Il spoke in favour of nuclear disarmament and the President of Iran, Mr. Imadinnerguest, said he would allow UN inspectors into his country.
A spokesman for the US Joint Chiefs of Staff, Major-General Disaster, claimed that these events were particularly serious at this time.
"We presently have a highly classified number of three hundred of Predator drones equipped with the latest classified high-tech weapons patrolling the skies from India to Serbia, with a highly classified number of 482 trained pilots reporting for duty every day at a highly classified control facility at Andrews Air Force Base in order to blow the living crap out of someone. In addition to this we have almost half a million troops deployed in these areas to prevent these types of occurrences, and if they do not occur the effect on moral will be tremendous."
Asked about the recent failed car bomb in Times Square NY,Major-General Disaster responded " That's all very well and good, but it's a job for the cops and the FBI, how's that going to help the military budget?"