Michael Jackson is sensationally still alive. We can reveal that he is pretending to be his old friend 'Dave' Cameron. Observers have noted Cameron's rather high pitched vocal delivery and the fact that he is being followed around by a monkey called 'Bubbles Hague'.
Already many fans have gathered at number 10 Neverland in a bid to see their great idol, who they once feared was dead. Conor Burns, 37 from Bournemouth, said "I love everything he does. I'm so glad he is still alive. Yes, he had to pretend to be somebody else in order to fool the electorate, but I think he pulled it off."
The Jackson family have distanced themselves from such claims and angrily denied that Michael was indulging in politics. "Michael is as dead as Gordon Brown's political career. He will not be coming back."