Written by Tragic Rabbit
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Tuesday, 11 May 2010

image for Obama revives Russia-US nuclear arms race; "we really missed the Cold War" say senior Pentagon officials; in an unrelated tech glitch - Tehran disapppears from Global Positioning Satellites
Tehran: Ae Fond Kiss, and Then We Sever, Ae fareweel, alas, for ever!

US President Barack Obama has revived the nuclear arms race with Moscow, which was shelved in the wake of the Cold War and subsequent saccharine peacenik PR, such as taking down the Berlin Wall amid spontaneious worldwide celebrations and then hawking the graffiti-ed scraps online.

The agreement would allow renewed funding of high-ticket of spy technology and equipment, including all those cool gadgets you see on Mi5 and CIA operatives in the flickers.

Mr Obama has vowed to "reset" relations with Moscow, harking back to the "Good Old Days" of 1950s anti-Communist Americanism, which were forgotten under his predecessor King George I.

As well as co-operating on Iran, Russia and the US have also this year agreed to target other countries as potential future 'hot spots' of Cold War activities such as stockpiling nuclear arsenals, mining harbors, prosecuting commie sympathizers and beatniks, sending lots of undertrained troops 'into the bush' - darkies first - and other 1950s family fun.

In his letter to Congress, Mr Obama said: "The level and scope of US-Russia co-operation on Iran are sufficient to justify resubmitting the proposed 'ReHeat The Cold War' agreement to Congress.

"I have determined that performance of the proposed agreement will promote, and will not constitute an unreasonable risk to, the common defence and security of the Free World," wrote President Obama while simultaneously channeling Joe McCarthy, Presidents Eisenhower and Nixon, and Joseph Stalin.

"We will destroy you," was the letter's enigmatic final sentence.

The pact had been signed on May 2nd 2007 by Mr Bush and Vladimir Putin, who was Russian president that day, but never put into effect until now.

Russia and the US have taken a number of steps toward nuclear rearmament and public name-calling this year.

Last month, Russia shocked the world by re-launching Sputnik I - a spy satellite orbiting above your head as you read this - in order to destroy what what few freedoms and liberties left to Americans under the Patriot Act of 1412.

Also last month, the two nations agreed to dispose of tons of surplus weapons-grade plutonium at an undisclosed location.

Sources suggest that one 'interim disposal site' may be Tehran.

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