Written by C. Cranium
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Topics: Australia

Sunday, 9 May 2010

image for Diabolical Dingo Demolishes Darwin
Aboriginal painting of a dingo.

High above Darwin, Australia. The wreckage in Darwin proper is widespread when viewed from a helicopter at one thousand feet altitude. Buildings have been pushed over by a Godzilla like creature that appears to be a two hundred foot tall dingo.

Dingzilla, as the Darwin inhabitants call the creature, has been smashing buildings for two days and has now moved to the harbor area. Despite the carnage to the infrastructure no one has died from the destruction. The creature has only smashed buildings and has seemed oblivious to humans that are proportionately smaller than ants to Dingzilla.

The sequence of events started a week ago, far south at Ayers Rock, when Starburst Coffee announced the opening of its seven thousandth coffee bistro on the summit of the popular tourist destination. Within hours of the serving of the first venti mocha Ayers Rock began to shake and tremble leaving tourists frightened and without their change or lattes. Ayers Rock, or Uluru, is sacred to the Aboriginal people who have left ancient rock paintings depicting the local fauna. One notable rock painting is an oversized dog like creature surrounded by spear throwing aborigines.

Starburst Coffee brought a conflicting and crass commercialism that defiled the spot and offended mother earth causing the localized tremors. A day after the espresso started brewing the tremors around Ayers intensified and the northern tip of the massive batholithic rock began to lift. Hours later the rock was tipped high exposing a large hole that was large enough for a gigantic creature to immerge. That was the first glimpse of Dingzilla who shook dog style as Ayers crashed back into place. The monster then ran off heading north and arrived in Darwin two days later. Why Darwin was the monster's destination might never be answered, except in literary alliteration lore.

A last minute update to the story, just prior to publishing, has Dingzilla swimming out of the Darwin harbor chasing a Norwegian Cruise Line vessel.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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