Written by Harry Porter
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Topics: Police, Viagra

Monday, 10 October 2005

image for Viagra Mailing Lists Seized by Police
Beware of imitations.

Lawyers are coming down hard on all those who have bought illegal versions of the impotence drug Viagra.

As well as the fake sexual stimulant being possibly dangerous to men's health - it is also making profits droop for bona fide manufacturers.

Pharmaceutical giant Pfizer and Microsoft Corp. are suing those behind two international web sites that have waged a massive spam e-mail campaign, aimed at putting a smile back on the frowning faces of middle-aged men - and their sexual partners.

And now the hunt is on to trace and prosecute every single customer who took advantage of the bargain online offers, which mainly originated in India.

Sefton Delmer, who is leading the legal team for Pfizer, explained that no mercy would be shown in bringing the bootleggers, or those on their mailing lists, to account.

"Whilst it may seem that we are taking an extremely hard stance on this," said Mr Delmer, "the fact is that tens of thousands of people have decided to buy this drug illegally on what is, essentially, a black market.

"If their sex lives are that important to them, they should be willing to pay the going rate.

"Whether they are aware of it or not, these people are part of an illegal sex trade and they will be prosecuted."

All assets have been frozen in the offending companies and the mailing lists have already been passed to America's FBI and Europe's Interpol.

Chief Inspector Rolf Bartok, speaking from Interpol's headquarters in Geneva, Switzerland, said the process of checking credit card numbers against addresses had already begun and arrests would follow within the next week.

"This is a multi-million euro scam and everyone who has bought some of this illegal Viagra will have their day in court," he said.

"All of Europe's police forces are united behind the philosophy of ‘name, shame and fine'.

"Everyone who has dealt in these drugs will pay the price."

Slovenia was the first sovereign state to unilaterally commence criminal proceedings against its country's impotent villains.

Jerzy Zebegeny of Lujubljana was amongst those caught in the initial round of court cases in 2004, being fined 10,000 euros ($4,000) for buying 12 tablets of the fake Viagra.

"I was a married man with two children," he said.

"Then, after the court case, I lost everything. People pointed at me in the street and laughed.

"I have lost my family and been disowned my parents.

"My country has ridiculed me. I am a sexual failure and a national failure, all because of an e-mail that offered me the chance to regain the erections I had lost.

"This is a shameful trade and I am ashamed to have been part of it."

* Poland has refused to participate in the global crackdown, claiming sexual potency, no matter how achieved, is part of its national culture.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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