Written by ExiledRoyal
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Neanderthal, Essex

Thursday, 6 May 2010

image for Neanderthals have relatives in Essex

Neanderthals are not totally extinct, in some of us they live on - a little bit... or maybe a lot...

Something that we knew all along has been disclosed by Professor Svante Paabo, Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology.

Prof. Paabo added, "The most widely-accepted theory of modern human origins - known as Out of Africa - holds that the ancestors of living humans (Homo sapiens) originated in Africa some 200,000 years ago.

A relatively small group of people then left the continent to populate the rest of the world between 50,000 and 60,000 years ago.

While the Neanderthal genetic contribution - found in people from Europe, Asia and Oceania - appears to be small, this figure is higher than previous genetic analyses have suggested."

It appears that this cross-pollination is particularly centred on parts of Essex, including Barking and Southend.

The original interbreeding between Neanderthals and Homo Sapiens occurred some 50-60 thousand years ago, but research shows that contemporary copulation in Essex continues to include both genomes. Neanderthals from Essex continue to attract sexually active humans from adjacent areas.

Prof Paabo said, "There is clear evidence that Neanderthals had sex with humans. The mess left behind is concurrent with contemporary observations: Essex girls, upon orgasm, will often drop their Kebab and chips, for example."

Make ExiledRoyal's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 plus 5?

5 2 10 16

Go to top