Written by queen mudder
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Topics: turin shroud

Saturday, 1 May 2010

image for Spoof writer Lynton swears Turin Shroud cadaver 'has an erection'
The French call orgasm 'Le Petit Mort'....

Cyberspace - (Jesus Wept): A Spoof writers' discussion about the Pope bowing before the Turin Shroud on Sunday has descended into chaos.

Theories that the shroud depicts the corpse of Jacques de Molay - last Grand Master of the Knights Templar - and not Jesus Christ were given the thumbs up when writer Lynton claimed 'he'd seen an erection' on the dubious cloth.

De Molay was ritually tortured by Pope Benedick's predecessor Clement V before being slung in jail for seven years and then burnt at the stake.

The Turin Shroud has been successfully carbon dated to the early 14th century in a series of tests showing emphatically it is not from 1st century Judea.

But with Vatican coffers running on empty in the credit crunch a new regurgitation of the old chestnut that it's really 'Jesus Christ's burial cloth' seems worth a try.

UK media sources have noted that the Pope will bow before the Shroud when it is unveiled in Rome on Sunday.

"Let's hope no one's stuck a pen and ink drawing of a condom on that offending member!" was the last word in the forum on the subject.

With special thanks to Lynton.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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