In an amazing development, two representatives of the highly secret organisation known as the Illuminati rolled up at the office of Skoob News requesting that we publish a disclaimer on their behalf, as they feel they are being portrayed unfairly by certain media outlets.
The Illuminati, the Enlightened Ones, is apparently such a top secret organisation that nobody knows where they're based, who they are, or what any of them are doing at any given time. Indeed, according to sources, most of the high ranking members of the Illuminati aren't even aware that they are Illuminati. Which can be very confusing.
Apparently, Kay Burley off Sky News, Christine Bleakley off The One Show, Gary Barlow out of Take That, Rupert Murdoch of News International, Miley Cyrus out of Hannah Montana, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart out of Twilight, Cheryl Cole out of Girls Aloud and Lady Gaga out of New York are all Illuminati, but apparently unaware of the fact.
The two Illuminati people who came into our office weren't even sure that they were really Illuminati, but didn't want to take any chances.
They told us that they weren't attempting to influence the outcome of the British General Election, contrary to certain unfounded reports, because one of them was going to Ikea with his wife and the other was going to New York on a short shopping break.
Which we thought was fair enough.
More as we get it.