FREE OIL!!! FREE OIL!!! - They are shouting it from the rooftops at the oil company headquarters London.
The oil company's latest press release says that as part of their "Win the hearts and minds of their long time faithful consumers", as of today they will be distributing their product to you at no cost!
Sir Robert Bowser,has said they are willing to give up to 10,000 barrels a day away for as long as they deem it fair to anyone who wants it.
All you have to do is get to the East Coast of the United States with a container of some sort,you can come in boats, by foot, however you like - even bring a mop and bucket or a sponge even - just 'Come on Down and get it!"
"By the end of the week all of the coastline and wildlife will be wearing our product!"
Bring the family and they just may get to see some of the rare local wildlife, turtles, whales and bird-life, mostly washed up on the coastline covered in thick crude, but hey what a photo opportunity!
Sir Bob as he likes to be called ( he claims he is not unlike the other Sir Bob) for his committal to the environment,and planet in general admitted his company hasn't been all that visible in the past few years,"not doing all that much advertising" were his words,"But now we are gonna have more publicity than Exxon !!Free as well"
When asked about the sinking of the rig and subsequent deaths of 11 workers his reply was "Ha! that old thing? It was a rust-bucket anyhow and was up for a lot of expensive maintenance and those guys? Well I just Thank God they weren't from management!"
When asked about the cost of this whole misadventure and who was going to pay Sir Bob answered with a grin "where are you from and how much are you paying for your petrol right now?"
Sir Bowser leapt into his V8 Range Rover and was off in a flash!