Still debating whether or not to financially exclude Greece from the European monetary standard, Western European countries were pleased to hear that Greece had found a way to answer its financial troubles with newly found oil resources.
Proposed by Nikola Papalodinbutt, newly named minister of Energy, the new oil resource is expected to answer a huge part of the Greek debt issue, eliminating the need to buy future oil and providing a surplus that could be sold on the open market.
The plan calls for the enlistment of every able-bodied man with a boat or sailing vessel to join the new Energy Commission. "With modified fishing nets and strong backs, we will harvest the oil from the surface of the sea". Papalodinbutt says, "We simply harvest the free bounty that the sea gives us, in this case from a failed drilling platform near Louisiana".
The new Greek Energy Commission armada is currently under sail to the Atlantic, while Greek refineries near southwestern port cities remain at the ready. "Nobody fishes like a Greek", says Papalodinbutt, "We invented fishing, and the boat, and Baklava. We will rescue our own economy!"
Early testing of the refined Greek oil shows promising results, though insiders say that is smells a bit fishy, much like this story.
All the drivel that's unfit to print-