President Barack Hussein Obama issued a devastating Fatwa against the struggling state of Arizona which has been over run with crime from outside it's borders and forced to take measures to protect it's citizens and it's financial well being, thereby encouraging the wrath of the administration.
Calling Arizona's legal actions 'regrettable, short sighted, racist, and dumb' in a similar ill timed and ill advised statement echoing Hussein's tirade against Boston police in an incident documented last year, he vowed to bring "this rogue state to it's knees!"
Included in the Regime's Fatwa was the immediate disbandment of the state's Pro Baseball, Football and Basketball teams, all three big revenue generators for the state.
Obama, professing to be a big sports fan,said he would not punish 'all of the citizens' of Arizona, just the 70% that supported the latest bill to control the borders.
The exalted one said he had worked out a deal with huge baseball fans Raul and Fidel Castro to bring in the 'Cuba Libres' to replace the Diamond Backs, the Venezuelan Basketball Team "The Brown Sugars" to replace the Phoenix Suns, and "The Scrum Dogs of Scotland" to replace the Cardinals.
Citizens Against Socialism (CAS) rejoiced at Obama's decision to cut off all Federal Aid to the state, including education funds, saying the bill would allow parents to home school their children, thereby raising their IQ, elevate reading and writing skills and re-instill a modicum of common sense.
Obama's act also released the taxpayers from being liable for Federal Income Tax,as they were getting nothing in return, and also freed them from onerous union contracts for public employees prescribing obscene pay raises, cost free health insurance, and unfunded pensions.
Said Billy Bob Anderson, a 5th generation cattle rancher, "I think Barry O did us a right big favor here! I predict unemployment and crime will be reduced to single digits, property taxes will be cut, and we won't have to wait in line anymore for health care...I might even vote for the dumb sumbitch next time around!"
A state tourism and business official said their office couldn't handle all the calls from interested tourists looking for a safe place to vacation, and small businessmen from Massachusetts, NJ, NY and California ready to move in and start up a new business and employ hundreds of thousands of Legal Arizona residents.
Meanwhile in NYC, Mayor Bloomdork, who only a few years ago was offering free rides to the homeless to anywhere they wanted to go due to overcrowding of homeless shelters, decried Arizona's actions.
"At least when we got rid of our homeless Americans , each costing us $36,000 a year, we paid to have them leave. The fact that Arizona isn't offering compensation to non citizen convicted criminals, drug smugglers and welfare cheats is VERY un-American....it's just not the EU way!"
California, in worse shape than Greece, Portugal, Italy and Spain combined due to unsustainable welfare and socialist programs, also struck out at Arizona saying they would not sponsor any more Government Junkets to Arizona, but that they would welcome Arizona's displaced illegals, especially in light of close election races where Dems were threatened.
In international news, Obama announced he would reduce proposed sanctions against Iran even though they vowed to blow Israel off the face of the earth, block the strait of Hormuz, and cripple the world's already faltering economy, threats which Obama discounted as being 'merely in bad taste, but understandable."
CNBC commended the warm hearted decision by the UN announcing that Iran was granted a seat on the UN Council for the Advancement of Women's Rights, an appointment one UN official said he hoped would lead Iranian Sharia councils to use smaller stones when punishing women with tans and using toe nail polish.
An emotional Chris Matthews commented, "Finally, a common sense approach to human decency toward Iran, and an over due recognition of the fact that women have really become too entitled in the West!"