Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: The Spoof, UK, Morse

Wednesday, 28 April 2010

image for Entire UK Population To Hide From Inspector Morse
Where The Hell Is Everybody?

In what's been touted as the biggest, most complex practical joke in history, the entire UK population have agreed en-masse to hide from American TheSpoof.com writer, semi-retired detective and ex-pirate captain Morse, a native of The Carolina's when he arrives in the UK this August.

The audacious plan was revealed to us by a dodgy looking bastard in a long black leather coat in The Ship Anson public house, a mere stone's throw away from Nelson's flagship, HMS Victory. In Portsmouth.

It is believed that the intention is to make Morse believe that the UK is totally deserted, like an old wild west ghost town. But what Morse doesn't realise is that everybody will actually be hiding from him and trying desperately not to giggle as the intrepid explorer tries to figure out what's going on.

Even the government, the police, and the armed forces are in on the joke. HM Customs have agreed to have Southampton docks deserted, and the Civil Aviation Authority have agreed to evacuate Heathrow Airport as part of the joke.

The most challenging logistical aspect of the joke will involve the total 'desertion' of central London, but Mayor Doris Johnson believes he can pull the trick off.

As Morse heads for a TheSpoof.com writers get together in the capital, he will encounter deserted streets and absolute silence, save perhaps the odd rustle of a windblown newspaper.

The climax of the joke will occur in Southampton water, as Morse sets sail for Norway. Thousands will suddenly flood onto the docks, releasing balloons, fireworks will go off in profusion, and a select band of British Spoof writers will unfurl a huge banner, which will read:

"SORRY WE WERE OUT WHEN YOU CALLED CAP! Y'ALL COME BACK REAL SOON!"

Mrs Morse and the family dog are in on the deception but we're not supposed to reveal that. To anybody.

Look out for the sparks. They will fly.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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