Written by Albert-racer-X
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Topics: Jesus, second coming

Friday, 23 April 2010

image for Jesus Christ Shows Up for New Years

New York, January 2, 8010 - Jesus Christ appeared at Times Square during the New Years celebration, Decemeber 31, 7010. There was much anticipation as an estimated one million people showed up to hear him speak.

Christ appeared at Times Square in a white limousine with a prostitute as his escort. The prostitute, Anita Jones, is a local New York resistant who is known for visiting bars in the downtown area.

Jesus Christ was protected by his security team, made of the eleven apostles minus Judas of, who has been a prisoner in Hell since the time he helped Jesus get nailed to the cross.

As he exited the limousine with Anita Jones, he was seen wearing designer clothing by deceased twenty-first century fashion designer Jean Paul Gaultier. He had on a striped leather jacket, hand sanded straight leg denim pants, designer sun glasses and a straw fedora hat. Jones was in plain clothing wearing a crucifix.

In his speech, which was heard by over a billion people watching throughout the world, he bid a collective farewell to the departing year, and expressed joy and hope for the year ahead. He apologized to the world for not helping little children who have died of diseases, suffered poverty and who starved to death around the world.

When the last second hit twelve midnight, the famous New Year's Eve Ball descended from the flagpole atop One Times Square. Jesus then told the crowd he would be coming back 1.5 million years from now to apologize again to the world for the misery and agony it's been living under. He took a sip from some Pina Colada that was handed to him by the apostle Paul before spreading his arms and descending into the heavens.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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