Written by Mike Roberts
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Topics: church, Cuba

Tuesday, 20 April 2010

image for Cuban cardinal - "Worst crises in recent times"
"This time Raul's got a point" said a resident in Havana

Jaime Ortega, the head of the Catholic Church in Cuba said today "It is in one of its worst crises in recent times, er.. Cuba, not the church."

The 73-year-old prelate continued by saying that "People are openly talking about the deficiencies in this Stalinist-style bureaucracy. A vile system that produces only apathy among its workers and has a privileged and uncaring elite, er... obviously I mean Cuba again. There is a national consensus that the Cuban government need to make changes, and make them quickly."

Raul Castro was quick to rebut the cardinal's criticisms. "That's a bit rich coming from a member of the world's oldest and longest-running dictatorship." he said before pointing out a little church history.

"Not happy with ONLY being a dictatorship, Pope Pius V claimed 'The Pope and God are the same, so he has all power in Heaven and earth' and the First Vatican Council defined 'Papal infallibility' as a dogma. God AND infallible, that's a combination that even my brother Fidel didn't try to pull off!"

"Of course we're aware that we need to make changes to our government system, but to have a representative of an organisation that took 300 years to admit Galileo was right suggest that we aren't moving quickly enough is just laughable."

Many of those we spoke to on the streets of Havana wholeheartedly agreed with Raul's point of view. "I'd normally be the last person to agree with anyone with the name Castro, but this time I'm afraid he's right."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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