Written by Super-fan
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Topics: Elections, Vote

Sunday, 30 January 2005

Bush calls for a huge Iraqi turnout for elections. At the risk of their lives, Bush wants every Iraqi to vote in the upcoming election, and later in any election that could affect Bush in any way. ''The terrorists will stop at nothing to try to disrupt this election, yet, in the face of intimidation, the Iraqi people are standing firm,'' White House spokeswoman Claire Buchan said. Bush desperately needs a great turnout for the upcoming election due to his stressing of making Iraq a democracy. He needs to prove that this would be worth the 536 Billion dollars and 1000 soldiers dead as a result of Iraqi turmoil.

Terrorists have been trying to diminish the vote effort with attacks, signs saying vote and die, and bombings. Bush retaliated by saying he'd give support, maybe a nickel or two to each individual who gets out and votes, and fills out the mail in rebate form. Bush claims that the terrorists won't win, because the Iraqi people love him and everything he has done for them.

Bush said " You Iraqi's can not back down to these terrororists. They do not carry nuculer bombs, but we Americans do. If you do not vote, you will face the full wrath of Texas and it's buddies, the United states of America."

Bush also offered a nickel to all voting Iraqi's. "You will each have American currency if you vote. If you want, use it to buy drugs or a visa. Use it to buy a gun and shoot down the terrorists. We can't let them win. Remember, we carry nuculer bombs. Thank you, and God bless America."

The terrorists responded by blowing up an American truck, stealing at least 3 boxes of Donuts. " We will not let these terrorists win. Listen to me, you Iraqis, a vote for democracy means a vote against terror. And I am against terror. Vote now"

Privately, Bush told the American people that these nickel would come from taxes to benefit the spread of democracy.

Many Americans were upset with the slight tax increase, seeing how they wouldn't be able to get that morning donut they wanted so bad.

Bush then told the Iraqi people not to worry about the terrorists because he has them under control. He wanted to say Vote or die, suckers, but Condoleezza vetoed the idea.

"Those evil terrorists should die for their sins," said Bush. "But make sure they vote first."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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