New York, NY - Ominous news is circulating the Internet today about the real cause of the eruption of Mount Eyjafjallajokull in Iceland last week. It appears the volcano was hit by a photon torpedo, fired from a Romulan Warbird. The photon torpedo vaporized the summit of the volcano, and started the smoky eruption. Eyjafjallajokull is also a Romulan word. It means 'Fuck You' in Romulan.
The Romulan Empire has been at war with the Earth since their horrific attacks on September 11, 2001. They came back in time on that horrible date to prevent the Federation from ever existing.
The Romulans are taking their time conquering Earth. They have decided Earth should die the death of 1,000 cuts. There is less damage that way. Once Earth is broken, they will just walk in and take over with little resistance
Agents of the Romulan Empire have infiltrated every field of politics, entertainment and business for the last ten years. Many household names are actually agents of the Romulan Empire. Some Romulans in the Democratic Party are Sub-commander Nan'ci Pah'losi and Rear Admiral B'neh F'rank. Supreme sub-commander S'rah Pahlin leads the proxy Republican Party.
The Romulans were very pleased with the results of the photon torpedo attack on Mount Eyjafjallajokull Next week, they will fire a dozen photon torpedoes at the San Andreas Fault. They expect to achieve total victory by 2012!