Written by Earl Grey
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Topics: Jesus, volcano

Sunday, 18 April 2010

image for Jesus Has To Walk Across Sea Of Galilee As All Flights Grounded
"Happy are the taxi drivers, for they are the only people who can get you to the Kingdom of Heaven"

Jesus Christ, Son of God, has had to walk across the sea of Galilee following the cancellation of all flights into and out of Jerusalem airport. A thick cloud of volcanic ash has spread across the skies, leaving airports deserted.

Jesus was accompanied on his journey by twelve men in a small fishing boat. One of them, Peter, said "When we arrived at the airport it was total chaos. There were people everywhere. We were told that the delay could last a further two weeks. All we had to eat was a few loaves and fishes. If we were going to make that last we'd need a bloody miracle. I remember saying that to Jesus. He just looked at me in a funny way. Anyway, Jesus just said 'Sod it, I'm walking'. Luckily we still had this fishing boat so we could keep up with him. The airline are not refunding us as they say it's an act of God. Jesus said 'Dad, you relly piss me off sometimes'."

As the volcano continues to spew ash out into the atmosphere the sporting calendar is coming under threat. The semi finals of the Champions League and the Europa Cup are already facing cancellation. If it continues then events such as the annual cheese rolling in Stilton and the international wife carrying in Nuneaton will also be threatened.

Meanwhile Jesus broke his silence, saying that the flight cancellations were "just another cross I have to bare".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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