Washington, DC - President Obama was very upset about the Iceland volcano, and he wanted to do something to stop it immediately. The president was smoking some funny cigarettes last night when he had a sudden brainstorm. He decided to drop a hydrogen bomb on the angry volcano, and seal up its crater.
"I was watching TV last night, and I almost broke down in tears." said the silly president. "I saw all these stranded travelers at all these airports, and I knew I had to do something. We have lots of nuclear bombs in the US, so why not use one, and plug up that sucker. I am so smart!" he complimented himself.
Alarmed scientific and military officials warned the president there would be horrific consequences of dropping a hydrogen bomb on a volcano. A bomb would more likely cause a catastrophic chain reaction, and all 37 of Iceland's volcanoes would begin erupting, instantly touching off another Ice Age. Officials put the chances of 'plugging up the volcano' at less than 1000 to 1.
"Oh, so that means we should use 1,000 hydrogen bombs. I guess that's what they mean." said the moron.
President Obama then called the Pentagon and ordered them to drop 10,000 hydrogen bombs on the volcano, just to be sure.
"This is so much fun!" said the silly president. "It's like I'm the president in some Hollywood disaster movie!" he exclaimed. "And if something goes wrong, I can always blame George Bush." He then ran into the Oval Office and lit up some more funny cigarettes.